Working on Mysteries, 2011

The big event that put all other plans temporarily on hold has come and gone.  I’m in for Western States.  I can now start to put 2011 together, but it also provided a very nice 1 month mental running vacation, that I think I really needed.  I only ran when I had nothing else to do, instead of planning my days around my running.  I ran 71 miles for the month of November, it’s been good for my legs, good for my head and good for my life.

Now, my next 6 months will be preparing for Western States.  I’ll figure out some races between here and there, but everything will point to the 100 miles between Squaw Valley and Auburn on June 25th.  I ran my first longish, 16 miles, run since October this morning.  I actually ran 14 miles last weekend but it was with friends, talking the whole way.  I really think that hours spent running alone in your own head is as much a part of ultra training as miles on the legs.  I’ve spent the majority of my 7 years running, thinking that the way to make running harder is to run faster, and I still think that’s true, but I need to learn some new things.  I need to search out some hurdles that I generally avoid.  The big one is hills.  I don’t mind running hills, and I ran some pretty big ones last year, but I don’t go looking for them.  And I need to be running downhills as much as up hills.  That’s almost the entire Western States course, you’re either going up steep, or coming down steep.  If it’s windy, I usually try and start into the wind and finish with a tail wind, I need to start reversing that when I can too.  On runs over 3 hours, if Jeanne crews me, I need to have predetermined breaks, like an aid station would be rather than have her where ever I decide I want a break.  I’m not sure how it got stuck, but the Bob Seger song Night Moves has been stuck in my head, “working on mysteries, without any clues”.

So this morning I started out with a pretty strong wind at my back, yesterdays heavy rain having also enticed thousands of worms onto the road.  As I left the pavement and headed into the Baskett Slough my road companions changed from worms to newts, everywhere.  I ran some hills, not big ones, but enough to make me think.

As I was getting dressed to run, I was watching a show about poachers in Africa and the effects they have on different species.  Their concerns were the same problems that humans hunting creates in general, that we search out the largest, most dominant male animals.  This leaves lesser males to reproduce, which weakens the breed of the species over time.  As I was running through the Baskett Slough, I thought about how many friends I know that have chosen to not have children.  Smart, strong, healthy people deciding to not breed, while Harvey Danger Lyrics, “Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding”, rattle around in my head.  I wonder if, as a species, we aren’t poaching ourselves, and why?  Careers, travel, not wanting to bring children into a cruel world, “my dogs are my children”, I know all the words, but I don’t know if that answers why.  Maybe it’s pretentious to believe that having children betters the world in some way, but millions will be born every year without those hopes, anyway.

As I made the turn to head south at Van Duzer Vineyards, with 5 miles to go, the headwind brought me back to running.  I could see rain coming over the coast mountains and figured I should make it home before it hit.  I could feel fatigue in my legs during the last few miles, strange to feel that after 15 miles at an easy pace.  The oak trees are bare with the exception of moss and mistletoe, by the time they have their leaves, these 16 mile runs through the Baskett Slough will be an easy day, and Western States will be getting close.

2010 A Space Oddity

I had three goals for 2010.  I had a lot of things I wanted to do, but only three that could really be considered goals.  Those three were, PR in both the 10k and Half Marathon, and complete a 100 mile event.

Then, some funny things happened on the way to the Forum.  For starters, I didn’t even run a half marathon, all year.  I did PR in the 10k, minutes after learning Nathaniel had been in a car accident that brought a house down....well at least a garage.  My 100 mile attempt, while a great learning experience, ended much the same way Nathaniel's car and said garage did.

So, I thought I’d salvage what was left of a Summer of hard work with an attempt at Qualifying for Boston at the Tri Cities Marathon, in Richland WA last weekend.  I needed 3:30 to qualify for Boston, 8:00 minute pace.  It’s not so much that I’ve gone out too fast in the last few, it’s more what those early miles have taken out of me mentally. 

Just before the start.

 Halloween Day, I ran my smartest and probably best marathon ever. I didn't hit the split button on my watch, I just was casually aware of my time.  I know the first mile was 7:47.  I know at mile 6 I was 12 seconds behind pace.  I know at mile 9 I was about 30 seconds back.  I know that I went over the half marathon mat just under 1:46.  I know that miles 14 and 15 were both just under 8:00 minute pace because I was worried that I was slowing down, but thought it strange that nobody was passing me.  I was more relaxed being a minute behind pace than I’ve ever been being a minute or two ahead.  

Mile 14 and blue skies.

 Mile 16 was up and over the cable bridge with the now very strong cold winds at my back.  The short distance with a tail wind wasn’t worth the tightening in my back.  Coming off the bridge I slowed quite a bit and tried to get my back loose.  Once I got back up on the river path with the wind in the face my back felt better, this was really the first time, at mile 17, that I really concerned myself with my
time.  I was now 2 minutes back.  I felt strong and was ready for work to begin.  The wind was now 25 mph straight into our face and would be that way the entire 10 miles coming back in.  I ran as hard as I've ever run in a marathon from 17 to 20, but my times were 8:15, 8:21 and 8:23, this felt like 7:30 effort and maybe it was.  The wind was so strong at times that it would blow me off line, at mile 20, almost 4 minutes down and not able to get close to 8:00 pace.  I went through a very strange 2 minutes of pragmatism arguing with desperation and realized, it was over.  I took my foot off the gas and enjoyed an easy run in.

While 2010 won’t end with a long list of accomplishments, it might be my most satisfying year running.  The run from The Dalles to Sisters really cemented my love for multi day journey running that will be a big part of my running in the future.  I also think I truly understand some things that I thought I knew, but I really didn’t comprehend.

I’ve got a lot of ideas for 2011, but all of those decisions will have to wait until after Dec 4th.

Raised from the dead

I've been fine.  I realized, in the week following Lean Horse, that I had a ton of base miles in my legs that didn't get used up.  So,  I picked a marathon 8 weeks out. I've been putting in a lot of speed and tempo runs.  And so, at the risk of jinxing myself, I'm in pretty good form to take a shot at a Boston Qualifying time on October 31 at the Tri Cities Marathon in Richland, WA. 

2011 Boston Marathon sold out in 8 hours when registration opened this week, so if I do run under 3:30, I'll be qualifying for 2012.

I've made a few other conditional decisions.  I'm going to enter the Western States Lottery next month.  My qualifying time is still good.  If I get in, I'll assume this is the universe guiding me.  If I don't, I'll figure some other things out.  Regardless, I'm about 99% committed to running across Oregon next summer.  I'll run from the California border to the Washington border along hwy 97.  When, in the summer, will depend on Western States.

My last long run is home from work tomorrow.  I've been working half day on Saturdays for the last 6 weeks, so my long runs have been the 18 miles home from work, plus what ever extra miles I need.  Tomorrow I just need the 18, which is nice.

9 days to Richland.  Weather looks good, low of 42, high of 59, with no rain.  I'm feeling pretty good about this! 

Wild, crazy and dead: Lean Horse Hundred 2010

Lean Horse, my first 100 miler.  It would be tempting to start at the end and get it over with but.....Jeanne and I flew into Billings Montana on Thursday.  It was the closest airport we could use frequent flyer miles, but it required a 5 hour car drive to Hot Springs.  It was 103 degrees when we landed, and “big sky country” was as advertised.  As we drove, I found myself grateful for the way the plan had worked out.  The long drive gave a sense of arrival, I anticipated a long drive back as a sense of victorious departure.  With a belly full of purchased food and from an air conditioned car it’s easy to appreciate the beautiful emptiness of Montana and Wyoming.  But as we drove past the site of the Battle of Little Big Horn, without seeing the buffalo roam, or the deer and the antelope play, it's hard to imagine wars fought over this desolation.

Where buffalo roam.

We did see deer and antelope and even buffalo but not in the same quantities of another nomadic species.  Sparkling Harleys, rolling, like middle aged water, downhill toward Sturgis.  It’s strange how it is that some people get stuck in places others escape to.  And most of these places shared one of three adjectives; wild, crazy or dead.  

The Black Hills of South Dakota are absolutely beautiful.  Lean Horse is a very well organized event, and the town of Hot Springs and everybody affiliated with the race made this seem like the perfect choice for my first hundred.  I was well trained and well rested, and I fully expected to have very fresh legs early.  I also had a plan, and in the end it was having a plan that proved to be my undoing.

Just before the start.

There were aid stations every 4.5 to 6.5 miles apart.  The third aid station was at mile 16 and this was the first one that Jeanne could meet me at.  My plan was to start with two bottles of Infinit, that would last me until I met Jeanne at 16.  After that, I figured it would take me less than an hour to go from aid station to aid station so I would pick up one bottle of Infinit at each aid station.  The Harbach aid station was at mile 35 with 6.5 miles of moderate uphill after.  I planned on getting to Harbach around 1:00 PM and figured it would be getting hot around then.  I figured that would be the first time I’d take 2 bottles with me.

On the Mickelson Trail

This might not have been a bad plan, but the mistake was having no alternative plan.  The first 16 miles took me longer than expected, I felt a little sluggish to start and the Argyle road hill from mile 4 to 16 is a pretty decent climb frequently into a headwind.  It was also close to 80 degrees by 9:00am as I came into Argyle aid station.  I had used up my 2 bottles and had been out for 3 hours, I should have taken 2 new bottles but I didn’t, because that wasn’t the plan.  This lack of adaptation created a death spiral for myself.  The more dehydrated I got, the longer it took me to get from aid station to aid station, the longer it took me, the more dehydrated I got.  I was really struggling at mile 25, I tried to go pee but couldn’t.  I was worried about how far behind my expected paced I was and I panicked.  Had I taken the time to rest, hydrate and pee at that point, I think I could have corrected my earlier mistakes, but I didn’t.  I had already thrown up once so I didn’t want more food, I took one bottle and off I went.  By the time I hit Harbach at mile 35 I was 2 hours behind where I expected to be, but I took a break anyway.  I drank some coke, changed my socks and toweled down with a cold wet towel.  I left that aid station with 2 bottles and ran that 6.5 better than I had for quite a while.  Jeanne was surprised to see me when I got there, and I told her that I thought I was starting to “come around”.  I was even starting to think positively, I told myself that if I just took it easy through the heat of the day, and it was now in the 90’s, and kept making progress that when it cooled down at night I’d be ok.  The slight downhill out of the Mountain aid station brought with it a new problem, a stabbing pain in my lower back with each step.  It was ok if I walked but almost unbearable if I ran.  I initially thought it was muscle cramping, but as I went along it felt less and less like muscle pain.  As the trail flattened out around the 45 mile aid station it didn’t hurt quite as bad as it had on the downhill. I took 2 more bottles and a little food.  In addition to already obvious dehydration issues I had created for myself, I also wasn’t eating enough.  The Infinit is 220 calories per bottle, above and beyond that, I’d had a few bites of peanut butter and jelly sandwich, half a granola bar, a cliff shots gel and a half a banana.  All by itself I don’t think this would have been a problem and I think I would have eaten more once the weather cooled down, had I made it that far.  I reached the turn around in just over 12 hours, still well under the cutoff but more than 2 hours later than I’d expected.  My lower back hurt every time I tried to run and I started thinking about the prospects of walking the 50 miles back.  I say thinking, I did the math and realized it could be done, but the idea of walking more than half of something I had referred to as a race I just couldn’t reconcile.  

“The saddest of times were when I was racing and no one else was aware of it.”
John E. Morelock, Run gently out there, 2010

As I walked the bridge that crossed the highway leading to Hill City, I just couldn’t convince myself that I wanted to walk for 16 to18 hours through the night.  I decided somewhat by submission that if I couldn’t run, I didn’t want to continue.  It was around this time that I looked down and for the first time noticed that my stomach was huge.  And then pieces started really falling in and out of place, and I also realized for the first time, that I hadn’t peed all day.  I didn’t know what it would take to get myself back to being able to run, I knew I’d have to get rid of the water my body was collecting.  I wondered if I kept walking, would I eventually pee and would I then be ok.  I wondered if I rested for an hour, would that help.  It was in these wondering moments that I lost the will to continue.  I knew something was wrong me, though I didn’t believe, at the time, it was dehydration.  I told the people at the aid station I couldn’t be dehydrated, “I’ve had 40 oz of fluid per hour all day” and I believed that.  After I officially dropped out, Jeanne drove me back to the Harbach station with medical aide to have someone “look at me”.  They said I was severely dehydrated and insisted I go to the hospital.  I argued with them too, insisting I’d had plenty of fluids.  I told the same story when I arrived in the emergency room.  By now, however,  I was fighting against armed resistance, a prostate exam revealed an enlarged prostate that would not allow a catheter to be inserted despite 2 valiant attempts on their part and a lot of screaming and crying on my part.  As they were preparing for a third attempt I begged for other alternatives, even offering to drink Drano if necessary.  I eventually convinced them to let me try and pee on my own.  I managed to produce a few ounces of something that looked like iced tea, which gave them something to analyze and allowed them to start an IV.  I had to stay until I could pee again on my own and that took several hours but I did, it still looked like iced tea.  My lab results indicated a low grade infection, but it also showed my electrolyte levels to be good.  By this time I had started thinking about each aid station, and Jeanne had my splits recorded and I began to realize my big mistake. My plan had no back up plan. It feels really stupid to say this now but, I truly didn’t anticipate or prepare for any deviation from this plan until around mile 60.

I’ve been examined by my doctor, once home, and had new lab work done and according to Dr. Weaver I’m “Back to perfectly normal”.  I don’t think there was anything wrong with me other than dehydration and bad decisions.  I’m back running, feel great and on to new challenges.

There is more to it than that, and maybe it’s why it’s taken me so long to write this.  We lie to ourselves all the time, sometimes it’s for the best, sometimes not.  Sometimes it allows us to gain perspective on things, sometimes it allows us to postpone feelings until we can deal with them later.  But regardless of the reasons, or explanations of subconscious, I’ve always maintained that at 2:00 AM, staring at the ceiling, everybody knows the truth about themselves.  This was my first DNF, but it wasn’t the first time I’ve quit.  Despite slogans like “Just Do It”, and phrases of “giving a 110%” and “laying it all on the line”, most of life is really just an exploration into what makes us surrender.  I’ve never run a race without a goal time.  I’ve never had a goal time that I didn’t think I could accomplish.  Sometimes I beat this goal time but I usually don’t.  At some point in any race, if you push hard enough you will find out where you quit.  When I hear marathon runners or now ultra marathon runners refer to a 5k as “easy” I know, they’ve never tried running one fast enough then.  We all will quit if pushed hard enough.  What made this DNF so hard to swallow was it wasn’t because of how hard I pushed, it was because of decisions I made.  At mile 55, in the condition I was in, I know I made the right decision to quit.  But the truth is, I was intimidated by 100 miles.  I expected to have no problems until mile 60 because my brain needed to have no problems until mile 60, because I couldn’t get my head all the way around 100. When I struggled, early, I panicked.  I’m intelligent enough to have done the arithmetic to figure out how much fluid I needed given the pace and the heat, I just refused to address a problem in the first 60 miles because I was scared.  That was a lot of training, a lot of money and a lot of patience on Jeanne’s part for me to come to that conclusion, but it’s the truth.

8 days to Lean Horse

It's getting really close.  2 days ago, this was titled 10 days to Lean Horse, then I didn't finish it, then I ran some more, now it's 8 days to Lean Horse, I'm starting to get really fidgety.  Last Wednesday, I had it in my mind that under no circumstances did I want to run the route home from work again, so with no real plan in mind other than to try and meet up with friends for part of it I ran aimlessly all over Salem.  I ended up with 18 miles instead of 20 and felt really worthless for the effort.  Saturday and Sunday, I put clear plans together, followed the route, the food plan etc. and had very good 20 and 16 miles runs in very hot conditions, there is something to that whole positive thinking crap.  This Wednesday I just sucked it up and ran home from work, with no drama.  I had a good planning ahead moment and a bad one this past week.  The good one involved shoes.  There is a movie called Spirit of the Marathon, it's an ok documentary following several runners as they prepare for the Chicago Marathon a few years ago.  One of the runners the film follows is Deena Kastor the American Women's marathon record holder.  There is a scene in the movie where Denna receives her shoes from her sponsor company, Asics.  She receives a huge case of them!  Probably 20 pairs of shoes.  Not 20 different kinds for her to try out, 20 of the exact same shoe because at 120 to 140 miles a week, you go through a lot of shoes!  Well I ordered 2 pairs at a time for the first time and it reminded me of that scene, I even said "Look, I'm Deena Kastor light".

Shoes for Lean Horse arrived in plenty of time.

LH1 and LH2

Each shoe will have about 50 miles of "break in" miles.  I'm not planning on changing shoes during the race, but will have a second pair ready just in case.  The bad decision, was with my Infinit Nutrition Drink.  I can't believe after my miscalculation on my run to Sisters, that I almost let it happen again, but I would not have had enough for Lean Horse.  So I had to make an emergency purchase, pay for 2nd day shipping etc.  That's gonna be some expensive koolaid.

Last full week, 68 miles total with a long of 20.  I have a 20 miler this Saturday and 12 slow on Monday, other than that just easy 3 to 5 mile runs each day to keep loose......crazy close now!!!

3 weeks to Lean Horse

The highlight of last weeks running was my 6 hour night time run in The Basket Slough.  This is my favorite local place to run.  It is the scene of my embarrassing Virgin in the Dark night time running episode.  I chose it for this run to force myself to use a headlamp for a long run, but I may also have chosen it to exorcise some “things that go bump in the night” demons.  Sure enough, first pass through, all I see are glowing eyes everywhere I look, and I have this overwhelming sensation of being watched and it is seriously creepy.  Second pass through, I force myself to stop and look into the trees and brush and confirm that yep, there are dozens of deer everywhere.  Once I convinced myself they were deer, I learned to take some comfort in their presence, figuring that if they were there, nothing higher on the food chain was.  The run was very successful, I ran through the transition from dusk to dark, and ran until 2:30 AM so I experienced running sleepy.  Many people complain about motion sickness from running with a headlamp.  I don’t ever get motion sickness from anything, so I didn’t expect any problems, but it’s nice to know that I can go that long with a headlamp with no issues. I had some uncomfortable chafing issues chronicled in a separate post if you’re morbidly curious.  I added grilled chicken to my approved foods list, I meant to try chicken broth too, but forgot all about it.  That 30 miles was my last “long” run before Lean Horse.  I’ve got a few more 16 and 20 milers, but I get to start slowly decreasing my overall miles.  The only downside is I’ve been eating like crazy, and have grown especially fond of chocolate milkshakes, at all times of day.  I’ll need to start cranking the calories back as I taper the miles, which is too bad.


For the week.  64 miles with a long of 30.  I’m feeling pretty good about where I am right now.  I just need to take care of the little things, like lists and supplies and chafing recovery!

Fear and Chafing

Warning, this blog contains subject matter that may be considered mature in nature.  Seriously, a warning.....if you keep reading, you can’t TMI or WTF me later......stop now.

Ok.

I have long contended that Runners World was not intended for runners that actually run a lot.  Because if it was written for runners that run a lot of miles, every other article would be about chafing or diarrhea or urine color or frostbite on seemingly valuable appendages.  There’s an old runners quote, “Run long enough and something is bound to happen”.  This is true, and that something frequently involves losing skin from someplace painful.

I use Body Glide to prevent chafing.  Like many things running related, there may be better products available, I experimented until I found something that worked, then I stopped trying other things.  I need it more in the winter when my skin is either cold and/or wet, and usually use it on runs 20 miles or longer regardless of the weather.  It used to go on (from top to bottom), the inside of my arms, my nipples, the small of my back at my shorts line, pretty much everywhere inside my shorts/between my legs and all over my feet.  At my current weight, 148 thanks for asking, I don’t need it on my arms and small of my back.

I ran out of Body Glide a week or so ago.  It’s not a big emergency in the Summer, I run without a shirt most of the time, and I needed to go to Portland to get more shoes and figured I’d get more Glide when I was there.  Then, the trip to Portland kept getting delayed, and before I knew it it was Saturday Night and I was getting ready for a 30+ mile run in the middle of the night and knew that I needed Glide.  I get these little sample bottles of different anti chafing stuff in race bags all the time and usually just throw them in a box full of stuff I don’t know why I save.  I retrieved one and applied it everywhere Glide goes.

I am here to report that not all anti chafing lubricants are created equal.  It was cold and pretty windy in the Basket Slough Saturday night.  It’s 3 miles from one entrance to the other, so I was basically running the same three miles back and forth, into the wind one way, with the wind the other. By my third trip into the wind, my nipples were rubbed raw.  As I came up to the car at the Hwy 22 entrance I asked Jeanne to grab me a new shirt, thinking that might help, it didn’t.  For a while I was running with one hand in my shirt to hold it away from my chest, then decided to tie the shirt around my waist and be cold.  At some point I glanced at my watch, which I wear on the underside of my wrist (in running mode) and noticed red spots all over the palm of my hand.  It took a minute for me to realize what it was from but when I turned the beam of my head lamp onto my chest I looked like a nursing mother for a vampire baby!

I arrived at the Hwy 99 side and found Lynn waiting with Jeanne and taking pictures.  He also offered band aid advice, which turned out to be a great suggestion and meant I got a picture with P n J sammich in my mouth and bandaids on my tits!  They did work.  I was able to wear a shirt over them and had no further issues......well, until the hot water of the shower hit them at 3:00 AM!
 

Jeanne waiting for me at 11:00 PM

18 miles raw

 Sammiches and Bandaids