Wild, crazy and dead: Lean Horse Hundred 2010

Lean Horse, my first 100 miler.  It would be tempting to start at the end and get it over with but.....Jeanne and I flew into Billings Montana on Thursday.  It was the closest airport we could use frequent flyer miles, but it required a 5 hour car drive to Hot Springs.  It was 103 degrees when we landed, and “big sky country” was as advertised.  As we drove, I found myself grateful for the way the plan had worked out.  The long drive gave a sense of arrival, I anticipated a long drive back as a sense of victorious departure.  With a belly full of purchased food and from an air conditioned car it’s easy to appreciate the beautiful emptiness of Montana and Wyoming.  But as we drove past the site of the Battle of Little Big Horn, without seeing the buffalo roam, or the deer and the antelope play, it's hard to imagine wars fought over this desolation.

Where buffalo roam.

We did see deer and antelope and even buffalo but not in the same quantities of another nomadic species.  Sparkling Harleys, rolling, like middle aged water, downhill toward Sturgis.  It’s strange how it is that some people get stuck in places others escape to.  And most of these places shared one of three adjectives; wild, crazy or dead.  

The Black Hills of South Dakota are absolutely beautiful.  Lean Horse is a very well organized event, and the town of Hot Springs and everybody affiliated with the race made this seem like the perfect choice for my first hundred.  I was well trained and well rested, and I fully expected to have very fresh legs early.  I also had a plan, and in the end it was having a plan that proved to be my undoing.

Just before the start.

There were aid stations every 4.5 to 6.5 miles apart.  The third aid station was at mile 16 and this was the first one that Jeanne could meet me at.  My plan was to start with two bottles of Infinit, that would last me until I met Jeanne at 16.  After that, I figured it would take me less than an hour to go from aid station to aid station so I would pick up one bottle of Infinit at each aid station.  The Harbach aid station was at mile 35 with 6.5 miles of moderate uphill after.  I planned on getting to Harbach around 1:00 PM and figured it would be getting hot around then.  I figured that would be the first time I’d take 2 bottles with me.

On the Mickelson Trail

This might not have been a bad plan, but the mistake was having no alternative plan.  The first 16 miles took me longer than expected, I felt a little sluggish to start and the Argyle road hill from mile 4 to 16 is a pretty decent climb frequently into a headwind.  It was also close to 80 degrees by 9:00am as I came into Argyle aid station.  I had used up my 2 bottles and had been out for 3 hours, I should have taken 2 new bottles but I didn’t, because that wasn’t the plan.  This lack of adaptation created a death spiral for myself.  The more dehydrated I got, the longer it took me to get from aid station to aid station, the longer it took me, the more dehydrated I got.  I was really struggling at mile 25, I tried to go pee but couldn’t.  I was worried about how far behind my expected paced I was and I panicked.  Had I taken the time to rest, hydrate and pee at that point, I think I could have corrected my earlier mistakes, but I didn’t.  I had already thrown up once so I didn’t want more food, I took one bottle and off I went.  By the time I hit Harbach at mile 35 I was 2 hours behind where I expected to be, but I took a break anyway.  I drank some coke, changed my socks and toweled down with a cold wet towel.  I left that aid station with 2 bottles and ran that 6.5 better than I had for quite a while.  Jeanne was surprised to see me when I got there, and I told her that I thought I was starting to “come around”.  I was even starting to think positively, I told myself that if I just took it easy through the heat of the day, and it was now in the 90’s, and kept making progress that when it cooled down at night I’d be ok.  The slight downhill out of the Mountain aid station brought with it a new problem, a stabbing pain in my lower back with each step.  It was ok if I walked but almost unbearable if I ran.  I initially thought it was muscle cramping, but as I went along it felt less and less like muscle pain.  As the trail flattened out around the 45 mile aid station it didn’t hurt quite as bad as it had on the downhill. I took 2 more bottles and a little food.  In addition to already obvious dehydration issues I had created for myself, I also wasn’t eating enough.  The Infinit is 220 calories per bottle, above and beyond that, I’d had a few bites of peanut butter and jelly sandwich, half a granola bar, a cliff shots gel and a half a banana.  All by itself I don’t think this would have been a problem and I think I would have eaten more once the weather cooled down, had I made it that far.  I reached the turn around in just over 12 hours, still well under the cutoff but more than 2 hours later than I’d expected.  My lower back hurt every time I tried to run and I started thinking about the prospects of walking the 50 miles back.  I say thinking, I did the math and realized it could be done, but the idea of walking more than half of something I had referred to as a race I just couldn’t reconcile.  

“The saddest of times were when I was racing and no one else was aware of it.”
John E. Morelock, Run gently out there, 2010

As I walked the bridge that crossed the highway leading to Hill City, I just couldn’t convince myself that I wanted to walk for 16 to18 hours through the night.  I decided somewhat by submission that if I couldn’t run, I didn’t want to continue.  It was around this time that I looked down and for the first time noticed that my stomach was huge.  And then pieces started really falling in and out of place, and I also realized for the first time, that I hadn’t peed all day.  I didn’t know what it would take to get myself back to being able to run, I knew I’d have to get rid of the water my body was collecting.  I wondered if I kept walking, would I eventually pee and would I then be ok.  I wondered if I rested for an hour, would that help.  It was in these wondering moments that I lost the will to continue.  I knew something was wrong me, though I didn’t believe, at the time, it was dehydration.  I told the people at the aid station I couldn’t be dehydrated, “I’ve had 40 oz of fluid per hour all day” and I believed that.  After I officially dropped out, Jeanne drove me back to the Harbach station with medical aide to have someone “look at me”.  They said I was severely dehydrated and insisted I go to the hospital.  I argued with them too, insisting I’d had plenty of fluids.  I told the same story when I arrived in the emergency room.  By now, however,  I was fighting against armed resistance, a prostate exam revealed an enlarged prostate that would not allow a catheter to be inserted despite 2 valiant attempts on their part and a lot of screaming and crying on my part.  As they were preparing for a third attempt I begged for other alternatives, even offering to drink Drano if necessary.  I eventually convinced them to let me try and pee on my own.  I managed to produce a few ounces of something that looked like iced tea, which gave them something to analyze and allowed them to start an IV.  I had to stay until I could pee again on my own and that took several hours but I did, it still looked like iced tea.  My lab results indicated a low grade infection, but it also showed my electrolyte levels to be good.  By this time I had started thinking about each aid station, and Jeanne had my splits recorded and I began to realize my big mistake. My plan had no back up plan. It feels really stupid to say this now but, I truly didn’t anticipate or prepare for any deviation from this plan until around mile 60.

I’ve been examined by my doctor, once home, and had new lab work done and according to Dr. Weaver I’m “Back to perfectly normal”.  I don’t think there was anything wrong with me other than dehydration and bad decisions.  I’m back running, feel great and on to new challenges.

There is more to it than that, and maybe it’s why it’s taken me so long to write this.  We lie to ourselves all the time, sometimes it’s for the best, sometimes not.  Sometimes it allows us to gain perspective on things, sometimes it allows us to postpone feelings until we can deal with them later.  But regardless of the reasons, or explanations of subconscious, I’ve always maintained that at 2:00 AM, staring at the ceiling, everybody knows the truth about themselves.  This was my first DNF, but it wasn’t the first time I’ve quit.  Despite slogans like “Just Do It”, and phrases of “giving a 110%” and “laying it all on the line”, most of life is really just an exploration into what makes us surrender.  I’ve never run a race without a goal time.  I’ve never had a goal time that I didn’t think I could accomplish.  Sometimes I beat this goal time but I usually don’t.  At some point in any race, if you push hard enough you will find out where you quit.  When I hear marathon runners or now ultra marathon runners refer to a 5k as “easy” I know, they’ve never tried running one fast enough then.  We all will quit if pushed hard enough.  What made this DNF so hard to swallow was it wasn’t because of how hard I pushed, it was because of decisions I made.  At mile 55, in the condition I was in, I know I made the right decision to quit.  But the truth is, I was intimidated by 100 miles.  I expected to have no problems until mile 60 because my brain needed to have no problems until mile 60, because I couldn’t get my head all the way around 100. When I struggled, early, I panicked.  I’m intelligent enough to have done the arithmetic to figure out how much fluid I needed given the pace and the heat, I just refused to address a problem in the first 60 miles because I was scared.  That was a lot of training, a lot of money and a lot of patience on Jeanne’s part for me to come to that conclusion, but it’s the truth.

8 days to Lean Horse

It's getting really close.  2 days ago, this was titled 10 days to Lean Horse, then I didn't finish it, then I ran some more, now it's 8 days to Lean Horse, I'm starting to get really fidgety.  Last Wednesday, I had it in my mind that under no circumstances did I want to run the route home from work again, so with no real plan in mind other than to try and meet up with friends for part of it I ran aimlessly all over Salem.  I ended up with 18 miles instead of 20 and felt really worthless for the effort.  Saturday and Sunday, I put clear plans together, followed the route, the food plan etc. and had very good 20 and 16 miles runs in very hot conditions, there is something to that whole positive thinking crap.  This Wednesday I just sucked it up and ran home from work, with no drama.  I had a good planning ahead moment and a bad one this past week.  The good one involved shoes.  There is a movie called Spirit of the Marathon, it's an ok documentary following several runners as they prepare for the Chicago Marathon a few years ago.  One of the runners the film follows is Deena Kastor the American Women's marathon record holder.  There is a scene in the movie where Denna receives her shoes from her sponsor company, Asics.  She receives a huge case of them!  Probably 20 pairs of shoes.  Not 20 different kinds for her to try out, 20 of the exact same shoe because at 120 to 140 miles a week, you go through a lot of shoes!  Well I ordered 2 pairs at a time for the first time and it reminded me of that scene, I even said "Look, I'm Deena Kastor light".

Shoes for Lean Horse arrived in plenty of time.

LH1 and LH2

Each shoe will have about 50 miles of "break in" miles.  I'm not planning on changing shoes during the race, but will have a second pair ready just in case.  The bad decision, was with my Infinit Nutrition Drink.  I can't believe after my miscalculation on my run to Sisters, that I almost let it happen again, but I would not have had enough for Lean Horse.  So I had to make an emergency purchase, pay for 2nd day shipping etc.  That's gonna be some expensive koolaid.

Last full week, 68 miles total with a long of 20.  I have a 20 miler this Saturday and 12 slow on Monday, other than that just easy 3 to 5 mile runs each day to keep loose......crazy close now!!!

3 weeks to Lean Horse

The highlight of last weeks running was my 6 hour night time run in The Basket Slough.  This is my favorite local place to run.  It is the scene of my embarrassing Virgin in the Dark night time running episode.  I chose it for this run to force myself to use a headlamp for a long run, but I may also have chosen it to exorcise some “things that go bump in the night” demons.  Sure enough, first pass through, all I see are glowing eyes everywhere I look, and I have this overwhelming sensation of being watched and it is seriously creepy.  Second pass through, I force myself to stop and look into the trees and brush and confirm that yep, there are dozens of deer everywhere.  Once I convinced myself they were deer, I learned to take some comfort in their presence, figuring that if they were there, nothing higher on the food chain was.  The run was very successful, I ran through the transition from dusk to dark, and ran until 2:30 AM so I experienced running sleepy.  Many people complain about motion sickness from running with a headlamp.  I don’t ever get motion sickness from anything, so I didn’t expect any problems, but it’s nice to know that I can go that long with a headlamp with no issues. I had some uncomfortable chafing issues chronicled in a separate post if you’re morbidly curious.  I added grilled chicken to my approved foods list, I meant to try chicken broth too, but forgot all about it.  That 30 miles was my last “long” run before Lean Horse.  I’ve got a few more 16 and 20 milers, but I get to start slowly decreasing my overall miles.  The only downside is I’ve been eating like crazy, and have grown especially fond of chocolate milkshakes, at all times of day.  I’ll need to start cranking the calories back as I taper the miles, which is too bad.


For the week.  64 miles with a long of 30.  I’m feeling pretty good about where I am right now.  I just need to take care of the little things, like lists and supplies and chafing recovery!

4 weeks to Lean Horse

If I didn’t keep a running log it might be difficult to go back and piece together the week of running before the wedding.  Jewelia and Tyler are married and somewhere on the California Coast I presume.  There was surreal light on the Oregon Coast for the wedding, William Bragg, an amazing Salem Photographer has posted one shot from the wedding, we all can’t wait for more.  I set out to run an easy 8 miles last Monday and let myself get sucked into 8 hill repeats at Bush Park in the middle.  Wednesday was one of my toughest 20 miles home from work runs in quite a while.  Hectic day at work, not enough to eat that day, hot, grouchy, no energy from step one.  At mile 5 I said to myself, “self, what’s the worse that happens, you get home at 8:00?”  Things didn’t get any better from there, but they didn’t get any worse.  I’ve got 7 long runs left between now and Lean Horse, they aren’t all gonna be perfect.  I had a very good chiro visit and very painful massage on Thursday and ran 9 miles in Lincoln City Saturday morning, pretty fast.  I’m not running fast very often these days and it felt really good.  I said when I got back, “I could have raced today”.  Then I found out good friends Bill and Steve had finished first and second at the Liberty House 10k in Salem that morning!

I’m continuing to experiment with foods.  Everything I ate on Wednesday I didn’t like, but that might just have been me, I didn’t like anything Wednesday.  A 6 hour night run, back to back 20’s and then 4 other 20 milers and then I better be ready.  As I have no real idea what’s ahead of me, I feel ignorant saying this, but I feel ready.  My weight is dropping but strength is staying.  I was 148 this morning and I’ve never been this low, this far away from a big race.  I’ve also never felt this strong at this weight before.  I’m pretty confidant in the training I’ve done so far, and what’s left as far as training goes doesn’t scare me.....well the 6 hours at night does a little.

For the week.  43 miles with a long of 20.  My legs feel really good after an easy week and the stress of the wedding behind me.  I’m looking forward to a week where running is the challenge!

5 weeks to Lean Horse

I’ve decided to do weekly update on my preparations for my first 100 mile race, The Lean Horse Hundred in Hot Springs South Dakota.  A good friend of mine crewed his father in law for a 50 miler this weekend and his father in law had to drop at 30 miles, due to stomach issues.  I jokingly suggested that he blame his crew.  As it turns out he was trying an electrolyte replacement drink he’d never used before on race day.  I sometimes think I over obsess about race details.  I know, back in the old days, guys just showed up and ran.  They drank out of streams or garden hoses, ate whatever they could find, or nothing at all and from all reports, did just fine.  Of course, these mostly oral traditions have probably left out all of the details of when that lack of planning didn’t work out.

I got quite a bit of warm weather running in this last week.  I got a little dehydrated on my 20 mile run on Wednesday, just got caught on a longish stretch with no water anywhere.  I’m trying to really tune into and fine tune my understanding of my bodies requirements for fluids, food and electrolytes.  I experimented with some different foods on my 35 mile run on Saturday.  I’m trying to add anything to my current list of foods I can eat while running.  Prior to Saturday, that was a list of 1, P n J sammiches.  Well I guess Fritos and Coke would make it 3.  I have now added Clif Shots raspberry gel, and bananas to the approved foods list.  If anybody receives a grant to study the affects of Coca Cola on athletes late in an ultra event, I want to be first in line as a test subject.  It’s almost spiritual.

35 miles went really well on Saturday.  I woke up early and couldn't fall back to sleep so I got a 40 minute head start on my day.  It was pretty hot by the time I finished so the early start was nice.  I ran 4 miles on my own, then 7 ish with Jane, who drove all the way out from Salem to get an early run in and beat the heat.  Jeanne met me on the road at mile 18 and road crewed me the rest of the way.  I ran into a little bit of blues between mile 18 and 22, but then recovered and ran the last 7 really strong.  Then my 3rd burger of July and a beer at Block 15 in Corvallis, love love love that place.

For the week.  76 miles with a long of 35.  This weeks mileage will be down a little, what with Jewelia and Tyler’s impending nuptials....funny word.