50 for 50

I've had some melancholy moments, lately, and thought of things like The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock by T.S Eliot.  Lines that I now realize, having loved them for years, I never really understood:

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all;
That is not it, at all.”

I’m going to turn 50 on August 1, 2013.  A few years ago, I read about someone running 70 on their 70th birthday, was obviously blown away, and wondered to my myself, when a good age to start such a thing would be.  50 seemed like as good a place as anywhere to start.  With my superstar road crew unable to drive yet, I’ve had to figure out how to do it unsupported.  My route will go through Independence, out to Buena Vista and over the river on the ferry.  From there, I’ll make my way up the backside of Liberty Hill and then staying on Liberty into Salem.  My only scheduled break will be at Alcyone at mile 35 for some Coke and maybe some turkey and avocado if I think my stomach can handle it.  After that, over the bridge into West Salem and then a very common 15 miles back to Dallas.

I think I have all of the logistics figured out.  The stretch from the ferry to South Salem is probably my biggest concern.  About 12 miles without any obvious opportunities for water.  Some sketchy shoulders and the only significant hill is also in this section.  That 12 mile stretch is also the only part of the entire route I’ve never run on.

I’m not counting on any needing any supplies from anyone, but if you are in the area on the first and want to drive out to check on me, or run any part of it, let me know.

Tough Break

Memorial Day weekend Jeanne injured her ankle.  She stepped in a trench on the side of the house while helping me with the great patio project.  It looked like a sprain and acted like a sprain.  Even her physical therapist boss said it seemed like a bad sprain.  She spent 5 weeks in a boot, granted a pretty active, on her feet, five weeks, but still in a boot, and it wasn’t getting any better.  So, on the Tuesday before Independence Day she had it x-rayed, and on the day after Independence Day, she learned her fate.  Her heel is fractured.  She is on crutches and will see an orthopedist this week and no driving.  So much for her “Independence” Day.

I have decided to postpone the Run Across Oregon.  We pondered and discussed many “what ifs”, but in the end two thoughts confirmed this decision for me:  

The first, it was already a very selfless act on Jeanne’s part to spend her vacation time following me around central Oregon.  She says she loves crewing me on runs like this and I believe her, but I also know there are plenty of other ways she could imagine spending a vacation.  On journey runs we are usually able to sightsee together, go on short hikes, out to dinner etc to make it feel a little more like a vacation, or at least that’s how I justify it my mind. I can’t imagine doing it if she had to suffer through it just to drive my ass to hotels and to start points.  The best part of a crewed journey run is having my best friend with me.

The second reason is pretty selfish, but no less true.  35 miles a day for 8 straight days in very hot conditions is nothing to be taken lightly.  Under perfect conditions, there will be very difficult times, and thoughts of abandoning the run will enter your head.  If I also know that Jeanne is having a difficult time and is suffering, I fear it would just be too easy for me to convince myself to abandon “for her”.

So, that’s it.  I’ll save this journey for next Summer.  Instead, I’ll begin an annual tradition of running my years in miles on my birthday.  I’ve always wondered when an appropriate time to start this would be, and 50 on 50, August 1 seems perfect.  I will also run a Western States qualifier this fall, and start working towards getting back there.  Last year, I didn’t feel the pull very hard, but this year the lure of Western States really started to haunt me again.  I’m about 90% committed to Le Grizz 50 in Montana in October.

Run Across Oregon T Minus 5 Weeks

If there is one thing I’ve learned from running failures is that it is unwise to not plan.  If there is another one thing I have learned it’s that things will never go as planned.  The trick seems to be knowing when to abandon “the plan” and when to stick with it.  This is where having a crew that really understands you is invaluable.  I can be really stubborn, well all of the time, but really when I’m running.  Especially if the task in front of me is intimidating.  This manifest itself in really stupid ways sometimes like thinking I don’t need to eat or drink.  In the early days of Jeanne crewing for me, she just trusted my judgement (after some debate of course).  As we have gotten better at this we are learning to blend my “how I feel” with her pragmatic observation of “how I look”.  I am completely in awe of people that do long multi day runs with no crew.  I would really like to try it someday, to experience how it changes decision making.  

So, we have a plan, a notebook, the Run Across Oregon Notebook.  A black, three ring binder with maps in it so far.  Before we leave, it will have hotel addresses and phone numbers and a food and drink log.  Despite how enamored both of us are with electronic gadgets, this is something that a notebook just feels really comforting.

A 32 mile run with temps in the 80’s on Saturday was a nice mental warm up (some pun intended) for what I can expect in just 32 more days!

The Dufur Fun Run

The Balch Hotel, Dufur Oregon

If all goes according to plan, my Run Across Oregon should complete on Sunday, Aug 11, 2013 with a 14 mile Fun Run from Dufur to the Washington border.  At this point, the plan will be to leave the delightful Balch Hotel in Dufur at 9:00 AM arriving at the border sometime before noon, take a few pictures then head back (drive!) to Dufur for lunch.  If you are interested in participating in the Fun Run let me know.  If you need any further enticement, that weekend is also the Dufur Threshing Bee!

Run Across Oregon T Minus 7 Weeks

Crooked River Gorge

 The countdown has officially started in my head.  On August 3rd, 2 days after my 50th birthday, I’ll step across the California/Oregon border just south of Klamath Falls with a goal of running across the State of Oregon in 9 days, finishing at the Washington side of the Columbia River near The Dalles on August 11th.  The plan will be to average 35 miles a day for the first 8 days, leaving a 14 mile fun run from Dufur to the Columbia for the last day.  On other runs like this that I’ve done, I’ve posted a link to the route map, I’m not going to this time.  It’s Hwy 97 and/or 197 the whole way, I won’t get lost.

I got really sick after Newport Marathon, this seems to happen a lot to me.  I blame the water at aid stations, and especially blame the aid station with all cowgirls.  I think that is the only aid station I took water from twice because the cowgirls were awesome!  I’m almost recovered enough to resume everyday running.  All reservations along the way have been made, it’s starting to feel pretty real.  I drove from Redmond to Madras over the weekend.  That will be mile 175 to 202 and I started getting a little jumpy in the car.

Aged Vanilla

I don’t know what getting old is supposed to feel like.  In the beginning does it just feel like failure?

I don’t know how to lower my expectations, nor do I really feel like that time has come, but I can’t escape some seemingly obvious truths.  I ran a pretty good race on Saturday at the Newport Marathon.  My goal, as always, was a PR.  I sat on PR pace for as long as I could.  Then with all of the effort still there, it started slowly slipping away.  I was 2 minutes off pace at the half marathon mark.  From that point forward, all increased efforts accomplished was to slow the rate of decline.  I never melted down, never gave up mentally, I just wasn’t as fast as I thought I’d be.  My training had gone really well.  I know where the flaws were.  I know the skipped long run, the 10 mile tempo runs that ended up being 7, but I trained hard.  Obviously, either not hard enough, or this really is the point over the apex.  Doesn’t really matter, my next big event, Run Across Oregon, will not be measured in PR’s or even really in time.  It will, however, give me a lot of time to think about what’s on the running horizon.

Gorgeous Oregon Coast weather.

In many ways, this was one of my favorite race weekends ever.  I suppose it started with my DNA results from 23andme, which revealed, among other things, that I am 99.9% European.  This removed any lingering suspicions about whether I am part Kenyan, and took an enormous burden of expectations away!  Nope, I am 99.9% aged vanilla.

The Patio Project

Jeanne and I have been diligently working on the “Patio Project”.  There are some drainage trenches dug on the side yard and as we have carted and wheelbarrowed supplies we have warned each other to be careful of the trenches many times.  Last Saturday, while moving some top soil around to the back, Jeanne stepped in one of the trenches and severely sprained her right ankle.  She was on crutches for a few days and then into a walking boot.  The original plan had been for her to drive out on the marathon course, but we didn’t know how quickly the ankle would start to heal.  She drove for the first time Thursday night, a little test drive of a few miles, and it didn’t go very well.  We made the decision that she would not drive out on the course and that we would wait until we got to Newport to decide whether she could try and drive to finish area. The finish was only a mile and a half from our hotel, and she figured out that if she went in between the slowest people clearing the area and the winner coming back she would have a decent chance of parking near the finish.  Friday night we went out to dinner with some amazing new friends Jerry and Julie (more on them later), at The Chowder Bowl.  The food was pretty unremarkable, and I broke a cardinal, no fried food the night before, rule.  It was calamari!  After dinner, on the drive back to the hotel, the low tire indicator came up on the dash.  I pulled over and walked around the car.  The right rear tire did look a little low, so we found a service station and filled the tire up, problem seemingly solved.  A few hours later, I ran down to the parking garage to check on the tire and it looked fine.  Saturday morning, I was scurrying around, getting ready, my normal pre race jitters going on, and Jeanne asked me to check the tire again.  I was glad to have the distraction and headed back down to the parking garage and, the tire was completely flat.  I can’t begin to express how incredible it feels to have a partner like this.  I walked into the room and said to someone that can barely walk, “I’m really sorry, but the tire is completely flat, and I have to go right now, I know you can figure this out in the best way possible, if I don’t see you at the finish by 11:00 I’ll run back to the hotel”, and took off.  She was awesome, everything taken care of and basking in the sun at the finish when I was done.

Jeanne hobbled her way to the beach!

 

Newport Finish

A few months ago I started running with a husband and wife team in Dallas, Julie and Jerry Mullins.  I was getting a little lonely running almost everything all by myself, and driving in to Salem to run with friends was feeling like more of a production than “a run” should be.  They have both been such a wonderful shot in the arm of enthusiasm and positive energy.  Jerry ran his first ever marathon at Newport and Julie, well, wanted to PR (which would have been 4:20 something I think).  I don’t really remember her original goal time because it was pretty obvious, from the beginning, that she was capable of running much faster than that.  I remembered when Lynn Harmon saw a lot more potential in me than I saw in myself and how amazing it felt to have his encouragement and support and help.  So, I took the opportunity to pay the universe back, a little, and tried to help her gain the confidence to reach for something a little more.  As her confidence grew, she found the courage to say, out loud, that she wanted to break 4 hours.  I really never had any doubt she’d break 4.  I told Jeanne, “Julie is gonna go well under 4”.  She did, 3:53, which was pretty cool considering the first time I broke 4 hours, I also ran 3:53.  It’s such a mental barrier, than once you believe you can get under it, you really can get way under it.

Julie and Jerry Newport Sub 4 Finishers

I’m starting to really allow myself to start thinking about the actual running of Run Across Oregon. The actual logistics of running 300 miles require preparation that can’t, or shouldn’t be, ignored or minimized, but I’ve really tried to not think about the running part it until after Newport.  My mind is on it now!  It’s a big thing, I know, all the way across a state.  I know what it will take, every day, and it isn’t trivial.  35 miles every day for 8 days, I know the passes I’ll have to climb and I know it will be HOT, and I’m really looking forward to the challenge.

Goal Setting

I set goals for almost everything.  The less consequential to my life, the more likely I am to have a goal.  I have zero goals for where I want or need to be financially when I retire.  But I will quickly calculate that I’ll have to empty the grass catcher on the lawn mower 5 times before I’m done and then try and only have to do it 4 times as a challenge.

I’m not sure when the goal of a PR in a race will fade away with the acceptance of advancing age, but it hasn’t happened yet.  I know my PR times by heart for every distance from 5k to 50 miles and it still feels like I can run faster than all of them.  Well, maybe not my 15k PR, that one is pretty good.  I’ve had a few races that I decided to run at a slower pace as a tune up race for something else.  I’ve also had races where I knew I wasn’t in good enough shape to PR.  Most of the time, though, I won’t race unless I think I can do something I’ve never done before.

3:33:26.  That’s it.  Portland Marathon 2008.  I’m not sure how many failed attempts to go faster than that there have been in the last 5 years, but there have been quite a few.  Newport is a good course to run a fast time on, though I’ve never run very fast there in my 3 previous attempts.  8 days away and the weather forecast looks almost perfect, mid 50’s, partly cloudy, no rain.  It’s the Oregon Coast, that will change 8 times between now and then, but right now it looks awesome.  My training has gone really well, I’m in the best shape I’ve been in the last few years.  Now I just need to be smart for 20 miles, tough for 6 and look good for the last .2!